Underground in Underland
by Melda Burke
Summary: What happens when Underland and the Underground are discovered to be parts of the same whole? Follow Sarah and her friend Scrub as they carve a hilarious path through the lives of Jareth, the White Queen, the Mad Hatter, and a certain chocolatier.
1. Prologue

Do Not Read if you are not a fan of Alice In Wonderland (2010 version).

Nothing is mine. I own only the plot and Scrub. I am not making any money from this and I never will. I only do this for fun.

Sarah lounged across the sofa in her home, reading through the songs listed on her Ipod and searching for her favorite ones. Meanwhile, her best friend/room mate Martha 'Scrub' Jones was working her tiny behind off going through the clutter accumulated in the closet. She was casting about cardboard boxes and pieces of worthless junk in every direction in her quest through the claustrophobia-inducing space. She sighed heavily and got up off her knees, dusting off her hands onto her Jeggings. "Sarah, how in the world am I supposed to get some work done with you just laying there?" Sarah, who hadn't heard a word through the earbuds, just nodded and went back to her music. Scrub rolled her eyes and walked up to her friend. She yanked out the left earbud and said in a loud voice. "Help me out here, you lazy, fludging, teenage menace!"

Sarah grinned at her. "Hey, I graduated from my teens last Tuesday!"

"I've still got the right to call you a teenager until its been at least three weeks after your 19th birthday. Check it out, its in the rulebooks." She remarked and hauled Sarah to her feet. She dragged her to the closet and handed her a box that was on the floor. "Go through that one, it has some of your stuff in it, I think."

The tape on the top of the cardboard was slighly yellowed from the years, and the sides of the box were slightly ragged from being banged around. Sarah took the tiny pocket knife from the coffee table and started to work on opening it. After a few seconds, it yielded to her efforts and she lifted up the flaps.

The stuffed fox, the statuette, the dwarf, and finally, the little red book with the gold lettering. The memories rushed back and overwhelmed her like a wave.

_"You have no power over me!"_

Scrub sneezed several times because of the amount of dust she'd inhaled. She rubbed her nose and withdrew from the bowels of the closet. "Man, its like really dusty in there." She noticed Sarah staring down the box with a lost look upon her face. "Penny for your thoughts?" Still no response, so she knelt beside her and shook her shoulder a bit. "Sarah? Yoohoo!"

Shook from her reverie, Sarah stood and grabbed the box. "Um, I'm going to go put this in my room for later, 'kay?" Scrub nodded slowly, her bud's odd behavior causing her to be somewhat concerned. Sarah had been known to suffer from extream homesickness, so bad it was almost a depression. Over the years, it had gotten better, or so it seemed. She really hoped that wasn't it. She'd seen Sarah like that once and it wasn't pretty. Plus, after so many years of being friends, they'd become so close that whenever either of them was upset, the other one knew almost immediatly.

The door to Sarah's room shut hard. She did that when she was aggitated. Something in that box had upset her and it worried Scrub to hear this confirmation of her friend's distress.

She made to get up and tripped and fell face-first into a pile of old fabric samples from the days when she'd wanted to a fashion designer. "Dern, fludging, klutzy, uncoridinated..." She picked herself up and went upstairs. The door to Sarah's room was first on the left, right next to the library. She smiled, that was what had brought them together in the first place. They shared a great love of books and had met at the local bookshop. They'd hit it off right away and, over the last three years, had become more like sisters than anything.

She grabbed ahold of the knob and twisted. It wouldn't budge. Sarah had locked her door! She never did that. It was such an out of character move that it nearly shocked her out of her socks. She tried the door again. "Sarah?" No answer came from within, so she turned from the door in defeat and went back downstairs to return to her work.


	2. He's BAAACK!

I own nothing, nor do I plan making money off of this.

The only character that I do own is Scrub...oh, and I own the plot, so fingers off, please!

Sarah stared, unblinking, at the statue in her hands. It had been tucked away in that box for nigh on seven years. However, the likeness was still able to make her heart beat just a bit faster. She turned it over and over before she finally set it down and picked up the book. Flipping through the pages, she noticed that they were bit yellowed with age. She paused at a particular page and stared at the words that were revealed to her.

"Give me the child." Begged the princess, her finery tattered and dirty from her expedition through the Labyrinth. Her hair was matted and her eyes wild with worry as she searched around the timeless space for her brother. The Goblin King stood before her, his arms crossed proudly over his chest.

"Princess Sarah, I've been generous up until now, but I can be cruel." He warned, his voice cold as ice.

Her eyes narrowed and her jaw was set grimly. "Generous? What have you done that's generous?"

"Everything!" He barked sharply and circled her like a predator sizing up his prey.

She slammed the book shut, unable to read any farther. She'd packed these things up for a reason; to help shut the memory of the Labyrinth away. For years, her strategy had worked and worked well. She'd never even given a thought to Jar...no...The Goblin King..after she came out of her treke unscathed. Toby, of course, had been too young to remember his time in the castle beyond the Goblin City, so she'd never needed to worry about how it had affected him.

Toby. His ninth birthday was coming up soon, two days from now, in fact and she still didn't have a gift. Internally cursing herself, she repeatedly twirled a piece of her long, brown hair around her finger. Suddenly, she was struck with a brilliant idea. Shoving the items back into the box, she re-taped the top and bounded over to her 'crafts' drawer and fetched a roll of green wrapping paper. Working quickly, she folded and taped and, to finish the look, glued a blue bow to the top of the package. "There." She said in satisfaction. "I can get rid of you without actually getting rid of you."

"Oh, Sarah, surely you don't hate it that much?" An entirely too familar voice said from somewhere behind her. She spun around to find him leaning against the window. He looked almost exactly as he had all those years ago. His shirt was opened and showed off the cresent medallion he always wore, the sleeves billowing gracefully and his pants still left nothing to the imagination. The scent of leather permeated the room like a perfume. His hair was still wild, but streaks were colored blue like they had been in the Ball Room. His eyes, one a bright green and the other a stormy blue, were locked on her.

Sarah glared back. "Good afternoon, Goblin King. May I ask why in the hell you're back?" She hissed between clenched teeth. "You shouldn't be back. I beat you. I won!"

Jareth chuckled. "Language, Sarah, language." He straightened his posture, humor glittering brightly in his eyes. He took a step in her direction and she instinctively recoiled a bit. He stopped and cocked his head, was that hurt she saw? Whatever it was, it was gone quickly and he continued to get closer. "You needn't fear, Sarah." He assured her in a low tone. "I haven't come to exact my revenge."

"W-why are you here, then?" She asked again, hating the fearful stutter.

He held out a hand and placed it gently on her shoulder. "To help you." He said gently.

"What?"

He smiled and slid his hand slowly down her arm. It took all her might not to shudder at his touch. "Perhaps I should explain..." He mused, leading her by the hand and sitting down on the bed with her. Even after they had sat down, he kept her hand in both of his, and the gloves were cold on the skin of her palm. "I'm sure you've heard many times that things are not what they seem in my world."

"Many times." She confirmed, remembering the lovable, blue worm.

"Yes, well, your quest wasn't exactly what it seemed, either." He looked at her steadily. "It was more of a..test..a pop-quiz if you will. To determine your abilities."

"My abilities." She echoed flatly, lowering her gaze.

"Yes." He replied with a smile. "Your ability to resist temptation, to stand by your friends, to do the right thing no matter what the situation is. Your willingness to go the extra lengths for those that you love."

"Oh." She said, slightly disappointed. "I was hoping it was something in the manner of super-strength or X-Ray vision." He laughed heartily at that and she smiled weakly at the rich sound. "So why test me?"

He stopped and wiped his eyes. "You're needed in Underland."

"I thought it was called the Underground?" She asked, confused.

His eyes twinkled. "My half is, yes. However, the half that my sister rules is called Under_land_."

"You have a sister?"

"Yes, and, if everything goes according to plan, you will be meeting her shortly." They kept their conversation for a while, turning it from why Jareth had returned to discussing the happenings in the Underground while she'd been away. He asked her similar questions, mostly about Toby and her 'wicked' stepmother. For hours they talked and Sarah slowly became used to and comfortable with Jareth's presence. He didn't act at all like he had when she was running the Labyrinth, the cold, aloof demeanor was gone, replaced by something warm and friendly. Oh, he was still proud and smug, she wouldn't have believed it was him if he wasn't, but it was less noticable and not as annoying as before.

Downstairs, Scrub was preparing dinner to 'Lick it up' complete with the suggestive tongue movements. She, like her fave singer Gene Simons, had an extreamly long tongue and she loved to imitate him. After the song was through, she decided to check on the pasta that was on the stove. However, she didn't do this in the typical way. She got a fork and hooked a noodle, then flung it upwards onto the wooden cabinet where it stuck. She grinned and turned off the stove and poured the noodles into the strainer she had waiting in the sink, then she rinsed the extra starch off with a bit of warm water. She opened the fridge and took out the sauce and tipped the contents into the pot along with the noodles and stirred them together.

Scrub smiled and ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She stopped in front of the door and knocked hard. "Sarah?" She heard gasps and hasty movements around the room. Then hesitant footsteps made their way to the door and Sarah cracked it open, peering out at her friend with a nervous expression. She immediatly became suspicious and attempted to see past her friend and into the room, but Sarah blocked her view. "I just came up to tell you dinner is ready, but..is there someone in your room?"

"No, don't be silly!" Sarah said way too quickly.

Scrub smirked. "Then you won't mind me coming in, then?" She asked as she forced her way in. She made a point of looking under the bed and behind the curtains and doors. She spied the closet door, the only place left to search.

"Don't go in there!" Blurted Sarah, grabbing her arm.

"Why not? I'm only checking for monsters in your closet, Sarah. Can't have any of those, can we?" She said sweetly as she jerked open the door.

The Goblin King regarded Scrub with a smirk. "Good evening." He greeted with a slight bow.

"Yohla, how goes it?" She returned with a bow of her own. Jareth sent a confused look at Sarah who quickly elaborated.

"She said hi."

"Oh, and might I know the young lady's name?" He inquired, inclining his head in Scrub's direction.

"I'm Martha, but everybody just calls me Scrub." She said brightly.

"Would it be rude of me to ask why?"

"I'm short." She replied bluntly. And she was. He looked her over, she couldn't have been taller than four feet, ten inches. She was also dressed strangely, her hair was short and bleached blonde at the tips in random places and in it was a lavender bow. She wore a black tutu overtop of black tights and a purple blouse that matched her purple, fuzzy socks. She smiled excitedly at him and glanced from him to Sarah. "Well, I'm sure there's enough food downstairs for all three of us. Are you two hungry?" They both nodded eagerly. "Sweetness." She chirped and skipped back down the stairs while they followed.

Scrub procured a plate and cup for Jareth and, while they ate, they two of them filled her in on the conversation. And as soon as she realized she was entertaining royalty, she jumped up from her seat and did an admittedly very bad, albeit enthusiastic victory dance that ended in a guitar solo. She punched the air and yelled happily. "Take that, Jessica Wilfong! _You_ may have met Dolly Pardon, but _I'm _having dinner with a KING!" This made her launch into another victory dance. "Uh-huh, uh-huh!"

Jareth and Sarah observed this show with amused tolerance. He leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Is she always like this?" He asked, chuckling.

"As long as I've known her, yes...weird and lovin' it." She said with a grin.

"What astounded me is how well she took the news." He said, surprise still linguring in his voice.

Sarah took a sip of her drink. "Well, she's always believed in that sort of thing. Its right up there with ghosts in her book."

By this time, Scrub had finished her dances and had re-claimed her chair. She placed her head ontop of her folded hands and asked expectedly of Sarah. "So, when are we going?"

"We?" Sarah choked on her Coke so badly that Jareth felt it necessary to pat her on the back a few times. "What do you mean 'we'?"

Scrub shot her a disapproving look."Surely you don't think I'm gonna let you go on a mind-blowingly amazing adventure without me, do you?"

Sarah was sorely tempted, she would love to have someone she was familiar with and (completely) trusted going with her through this...whatever it was.. "It could be very dangerous..I don't want you to get hurt." She said apprehensively. Jareth reached under the table and gently squeezed her hand.

Scrub made a dismissive swipe with one hand. "Pshh. Honeybuns, danger is my middle name!" She lept up onto her chair and started beating her chest for effect, then a thoughtful look crossed her face and she stopped. "Well, actually, its Diana, but that's close enough."

Sarah sighed and set down her drink. "Fine." Scrub was overjoyed and practically crowed as she took the dishes to the sink and quickly rinsed them, then placed them into the dishwasher.

Jareth scooted his chair from the table and made his way to the front door. When he opened it, the lawn, which should have been there, was gone. In its place was the stone walls of a castle...his castle."Ladies?" He made a gesture, signalling that they should go before him.

"This is so fludging awesome!" Breathed Scrub as she stepped though the doorway into the Underground, her grin stretching from ear to ear.


	3. The Calm before the Storm

I own nothing! Only the plot and my OC.

The air had turned from the cheery warmth of the kitchen to the icy stillness of a stone castle. Sarah shivered, but Scrub, who was too excited to worry about trivial things such as the temperature, was surveying her surroundings with unabashed wonder.

Jareth ushered them quickly along the stone hallway, their steps echoed omenously off the walls. Said walls were covered in medieval war implements; war axes, bits of armor, daggers and the like. Scrub was repeatedly whispering awed adjectives under her breath and swiveling her head from left to right in order to see absolutely everything.

Scrub guessed that they had been walking along that hall for around ten minutes before a tiny, knobbly, brown thing appeared in their path. The goblin was dressed in muddy, ragged clothes and wore a stained, brown cap. It bowed low and nearly touched the floor with the front tip of his hat. "Masta has returned!"It squeaked in a comically nasal voice. Scrub was reminded of Fran and giggled mentally as she rightly assumed it would have been a very rude thing to do aloud at the moment.

Jareth nodded at the prostrate creature. "Septimus, have the others arrived yet?"

The goblin nodded vigerously and pointed down the hall. "The Throne Room ess packt full of 'em, masta. Masta's sista ess most anxious to see Masta." He poked his head around the Goblin King's booted feet. "Ahh! Young missies have come, too!" He glanced up at Jareth with a wary expression on his warty face. "Ess they gonna attend th' meetin' wit you, sire? Or should Septimus make ready one of de rooms?"

Jareth tapped his fingers against his lips in thought. "They are to be present at the meeting, yes. However, it wouldn't be such a bad idea for two rooms to be prepared." Septimus grinned hideously and bowed low once more, then he vanished with a poof. All that was left was a mini-dust storm of dirt flecks in his wake.

Turning around, he addressed the two of them. "Now, both of you are to remember your manners. Some of the people we are about to meet with are not lenient like my sister and I."

Scrub spoke up. "You mean like, speak only when spoken to, cross your legs when you're sitting and no elbows on the table?"

He nodded. "Precisely like that."

Sarah glanced in her friend's direction. In Scrub's greeny-blue eyes, there was an flash of annoyance and frustration. She did not like to conform to anyone's standards and hated situations where things were 'expected' of her. "So, you're saying that this world is full of chauvanistic, doddy-headed-"

"Martha!" Chided Sarah, using her friend's given name to scold her.

Jareth grinned, his pointy teeth making an appearance. "No, no, its alright. She's right. My world is full of chauvanistic, doddy-headed (whatever that means), sexist asses." Sarah chose to ignore the satisfied smirk of her near-sister.

They started back up and it wasn't much longer until they reached a set of gigantic, wooden double doors. Scrub gazed up at them and inspected the intricate carvings on the panals. "These things must be flicking eighty feet high!" She exclaimed.

"Eighty-two, actually. "Corrected Jareth with a smile. he offered one arm to each of them and whispered to them as the doors creaked open. "Ready yourselves. This might be just a bit overwhelming."

End Notes:

Fun Fact:

Scrub: A stunted tree or thicket or group of stunted trees or shrubs. An undersized person when compared to another.

Scrub was my nickname up until I was teenager, peoplz! That's how I got the idea for my Martha...er..Scrub.

Oh, and I appologize for the rather short chapter. I promise the next one will be much longer.

Previous


	4. Meeting in the Throne Room

Nothing is mine. *tiny tear* (Sniff) I don't make any money off this either. Oh, and I'd like to clarify something. One of my reviewers pointed out something critical. There are stories of mine on other sites with slightly different author names. In order to prevent further misunderstanding, I would like to point out that I will always go by either Melda, Melda_Undomiel or Melda Burke. Any stories written by me will be under those three pennames, which are relatively similar as you may see. I have simply a variety of sites that I participate in, so don't panic if you see the exact same story on a different site. Of the two other sites that I participate in are Lord of the and Underground Retrogression. However, if anyone sees any of my work on a site besides those, I'd like to be made aware. Plagarism is NOT cool! Thank you for your consideration. :D ~Love and peanut butter, Melda

Jareth pulled the two of them with him into the room. The ceiling was high and decorated with carved figures of griffins, centuars, and even a Meduse-like figure. Along the left and right sides of the walls, there were broad windows covered by a kind of sheer material that fluttered as if moved by a slight breeze. Tall, white columns split the room into three parts and drew one's eye to the middle where a grand table was placed. At the head of the table was a beautful, pale woman with white-blonde hair. She smiled kindly at the newcomers and rose from her seat. "Brother, it has been a long time." The forty others around the table remained silent and seated.

Jareth bowed. "Indeed, too long, Mirwana."

Mirwana regarded the Scrub with mild curiosity. "Who is this? She is not our Champion."

Jareth unhooked his arm from hers and nudged her forward. "Introduce yourself." He whispered.

Scrub curtsied prettily. "I'm Martha, your..erm.." She glanced nervously at the lovely woman before her. "It is your majesty, isn't it?" Mirwana nodded, a smile curving the ends of her ruby-red lips."But you may call me Scrub, most everyone does."

Mirwana's eyes twinkled. "Very well, then." She looked at Sarah. "If our Champion would please step forward and introduce herself as well?"

Sarah walked up to her friend's side and curtsied, too. She drew a deep breath as she took in the sight of all the people around her. Now was not the time to get stage fright. "My name is Sarah, your majesty. I am your Champion. Seven years ago, I solved the Labyrinth and won back my little brother whom I'd wished away in a moment of anger." There were whispers going through the crowd at the table and all of them leaned forward in order to get a better glimpse of the Champion.

Mirwana hushed them with a wave of her hand and left her place at the table's head. She walked past the two girls and touched her sibling's arm, guiding him to his seat beside her. Jareth stretched out in the chair with an air of complete ease, while the two girls were left standing awkwardly at attention. He noticed this and snapped his fingers. A goblin quickly appeared with two satin pillows in hand and seated them on a raised platform beside the two monarchs. Mirwana folded her hands on the table in a business-like manner and began to speak to them. "Now, the members of the High Court will be introduced to you one by one. I'm afraid that, while this may take a good while, it is a necessity. Afterwards, we will address what to do with you both."

First up were two nobles dressed elegantly in gold and beige in a similar fashion to Jareth. They must have been twins because they had nearly the same features. They bowed, introduced themselves, and sat back down. Next was a portly gentleman dressed ostentatiously in violet and orange. He was some Duke or another of some far off place. He made himself known especially to Scrub as he went all out and kissed her knuckles reverantly. His flirting was cut short by an impatient throat-clearing from Jareth's direction. With a flourish and a final wink at Scrub, the man returned to his chair. Scrub tried to cover her slightly green complexion by turning her head away after the encounter for the sake of being polite.

Twenty minutes later and Sarah had begun to nod off, she wasn't used to staying up so late. She snuck a glance at the watch on her wrist, it read about eleven and she mentally sighed. The last man had finished introducing himself and it was only after he was seated that Mirwana spoke again. "Now, we shall get down to business. Our Champion will be returning with my brother and myself-" She stopped when she noticed Scrub's hand was in the air and waving furiously. She lifted an eyebrow. "Yes?"

Scrub stood and bowed. "Your majesty, Sarah and I are like sisters. I could not stand be parted from her for a moment. Could I please accompany you?" She put on her puppy dog face. Sarah nearly snorted, those green-blue eyes of hers had widened to nearly an impossible degree and Scrub was utilizing all of her tiny, baby-faced charms. For a woman of twenty-two, she was quite adept at impersonating an innocent little girl. "Please." Repeated Scrub. Sarah knew that Mirwana was lost. That look could crumble any resolve, be it that of an all-powerful monarch or Sarah herself. "With peanut butter and chocolate sauce on top?" She asked, sealing the deal. Sarah rolled her eyes. Did anyone order a large ham?

Mirwana threw her head back and laughed. "How can I resist? Of course you may go." She and the other members of the Court seemed amused at the young woman's antics. The violet-dressed Duke, though was practically drooling and leering at Scub with such an intensity that it would make any self-respecting maiden blush. Scrub's expression fell as soon as she noticed and, though her face remained expressionless, her expressive eyes revealed a fierce annoyance directed at the fat Duke. This look was lost on the Duke who continued to stare with a heated gaze. For the second time, he was rebuked by Jareth. Scrub gave him a grateful smile and sat back down.

"Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Since Jareth will be gone, you all will be in charge of the Underground until he sees fit to come back." She leveled her gaze at the nobles. "You must remember to work together, for seperately none of you could swat a housefly, however, collectively.." She chuckled. "You could take on the entrity of the Aboveground." She smiled at the shocked expressions of the nobles. "Your duties will be those of the king, you know what I am saying. You must elect someone to be judge, someone to control the goblins, someone to respond to the wishes of the humans, and other such tasks. Hopefully, the castle will remain intact when this is over." She got up and moved away from the table. "Now, it is late and I am sure you are all very tired. You are all dismissed."

The simultaneous sound of scooting chairs resounded through the meeting room. Then, without any adue, the nobles vanished. Simply vanished. There was no pop, no poof, and (thankfully!) no whirlwind of dust. They just were no longer there. Jareth joined his sister and together they walked up to the pair of girls. "Finally! I was getting tired of all the formality." Sighed Mirwana. "I'm simply not used to it."

"Yes, and I noticed that we weren't the only ones nearly bored to sleep." He said with a knowing smirk at Sarah. Then he snapped his fingers and the pillow goblin hurried to his side. "Are their rooms ready?" The goblin bobbed his head up and down. "Good." He bowed and grinned at them all. "Goodnight, you all." He was gone in a cloud of glitter.

Mirwana shook her head, laughing quietly. "That's my brother, all right. Such a show off." She, too, bowed. "Well, I'll see you on the morrow. Fairfarren to you both." And she, like the nobles, vanished into thin air. The goblin motioned them out the doors and down the hall, opposite of the way they'd come.

Scrub walked backwards, as she often did when she wanted to talk while going somewhere. "Did you see the way that creepy dude was staring at me? It felt really weird, like he was undressing me with his eyes." She shivered violently and it wasn't from the cold.

Sarah nodded. "Yeah, but I don't think you're in any danger. I mean, Jareth and Mirwana seem to have them pretty much under their thumbs, so I don't think anything would happen to you or me." Scrub still looked unsure, but agreed. Sarah couldn't really blame her, the guy had acted like a real creeper.

The goblin halted at a pair of doors. Both were made of mahoghany and had round, crystal handles that reminded Sarah of the crystals that Jareth often juggled and danced across his hands. Sarah said goodnight and went into her bed, not even bothering to appreciate the room she was in, and fell asleep immediatly.

Scrub, however, entered her room and sat down on the bed. She was a bit of an insomniac and so she wasn't very tired, plus she was very excited about being thrust into this new and interesting world. The room she had been placed in was decorated in red and gold. The walls and ceiling were scarlet and the carpet was gold. The one window was covered by a heavy, black curtain and the covers of the bed were in black as well. She pondered what would happen the next day and, slowly, she slipped into the dark oblivion that was sleep.


	5. A Bander-WHAT!

A giant purple sign flashes neon green letters;

I OWN NOTHING!

It is followed by a blue sign with flashing yellow letters;

No money shall be made off of the works of the author that goes by the name of 'Melda'.

A third sign appears, this time in white with red letters;

Thank you for being patient, your regularly scheduled fanfiction will begin shortly.

"Good morning, sleepy-stein!" An overly cheerful voice said right in Sarah's ear. "It's time to get up!" Scrub shook her shoulder, but she only mumbled incoherently and turned over. A giggle escaped her friend. "Okaaaay, you asked for it." She poured the cup full of water right on Sarah's head, making her shout and splutter.

"SCRUB!" Sarah shouted. "What the hell was that for? I was enjoying my sleep!" She glared at the older girl. She was dressed strangely, as per usual. Her hair had a tiny, orange hat pinned off-center and she wore a short dress in a peaches-and-cream shade. She had on knee-high, orange and white socks. A long, uniquely beaded necklace completed the look.

Scrub smiled demurely and innocently. "We're going somewhere, or have you forgotten?" She said teasingly. Sarah's eyes widened as she remembered the events of the day before.

She lept out of her soaked bedclothes with a yelp, the covers tangling around her legs and nearly tripping her up."Thank you, Scrub!" She said sarcastically over her shoulder as she made her way to what she assumed to be the bathroom.

Scrub smiled. "By the by, Jareth magicked our clothes from the house to the castle. Most of them are packed, but I set out an outfit for you after I'd wiggled into my own ." Sarah thanked her sulkily and closed the door. She chortled and departed, leaving her to her own devices.

Scrub was off to explore the castle. She wanted to see more of it before she needed to go. Wondering around places she didn't know was both a hobby of hers and a vice. For most of the time, she ended up hopelessly lost. However, there were those rare moments where, by the skin of luck's teeth, she managed to navigate her way without much trouble. This was one of those rare times. Though the goblins were rather helpful, even if they were mischievious little buggaboos. They gave her a sense of direction with their constant puttering about. By imitating their twists and turns, she was able to find her way into the gardens outside the castle.

She sighed contentedly and smiled. The outside was much prettier than the inside. It wasn't green or even bright, but it had a kind of mysterious beauty. The kind invoked by things growing wild over each other and the trees standing up straight and tall, making an impeneterable canopy above her head. Cobwebs glittered and gleamed with the morning dew.

"It's wonderful, isn't it?" A voice said from behind her, making her jump slightly. The Goblin King put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He said, stepping into her line of vision.

"S'awright. I'm always kinda twitchy." She said with a half-grin.

Jareth observed her for a moment. "You know somthing? You'll fit well into Underland."

"What makes you say that?" She inquired curiously. She looked down at her feet a bit sadly. "I don't really fit in just anywhere. Apperently, most people think I'm a bit strange."

Jareth grinned. "You don't say?"

She nodded. "Yeah! I don't get it either!" She shrugged. "I'm just exercising my right to be myself." Jareth tilted his head at her. She seemed to be a nice girl, even if she was a bit off kilter. He liked her and he was sure his sister did too, maybe...He let the thought go unfinished.

Animals chattered around the two of them. Pixies and faeries fluttered about, one of them getting too close, he swatted it away in annoyance. He'd have to ask Hoggle to take up his spray-gun again, the infestation was getting to be unbearable. A squirrel stopped only a few feet away and stared at them warily. "Ew." Said Scrub in a disgusted voice. "A squirrel."

"What do you have against squirrels?" He asked, still staring at the tiny animal on the branch.

"I got into a fist-fight with one." She replied, making shooing motions in the squirrel's direction. "He came up to me begging for a nut and when he saw I didn't have one, he put up his little dukes. So I was all like 'bring it on, Rocky!'."

"Who won?" He asked.

"I did. The yellow-furred coward backed out only after the first two rounds." She said absently as the squirrel scurried off.

"Brother! I thought I would find you here!" She glanced at Scrub. "But not did you get here?"

She shrugged. "I dunno, I just sorta wondered around, followed some goblins, and ended up here." She pointed at the Goblin King. "Then he showed up and we started talking about fighting squirrels."

"Err.." She began.

Jareth held up his hand. "Trust me, do not ask."

Mirwana relented with one last curious glance at Scrub. "You know, you remind me of someone I know back home." She said, her eyes twinkling like twin stars. "I'm sure that when you meet him, you two will get along splendidly." She moved aside then, to reveal Sarah. She had her hair up in a ponytail and her blue blouse and jeans showed off her assets well. Scrub felt a twinge at her friend's effortless beauty. She knew that she'd never look like that, even if she tried her hardest. That was one of Scrub's problems. She may appear confident and lively to the world, and she was for the most part, but there was still that little bit of her that doubted herself. However, she quickly stuffed away those thoughts with happiness for her best friend. From the look that Jareth was giving Sarah, it was obvious to anyone that he held feelings for her. Already, Scrub was secretly plotting on how to get them together. Unbeknownst to her, Mirwana was thinking similar thoughts, only it was a different pair that she had in mind.

"Is the Bandersnatch ready?" Jareth tapped his booted foot on the ground impatiently.

"Is the _WHAT_ ready?" Exclaimed Sarah.

Scrub turned to Sarah in shock. "You have no idea what a Bandersnatch is? Haven't you read the books that I bought you for Christmas?" Sarah blushed and shook her head. Scrub face-palmed. "Well, then you're in for a big surprise, my friend. Huge even."

Mirwana grabbed ahold of Scrub, while Jareth gently held Sarah close to his chest. "Hang on." She said. The feeling of being between places was not fun for Sarah, she felt as if her stomach was being ripped out through her bellybutton. The trip was over almost instantly, though, so the torture was not drawn out.

To her amazement, while she herself was close to throwing up, Scrub had fallen to the ground and giggling dazedly. "Whoa, that was awesomer than the Batwing!" She said between giggles.

A roar startled them both out of their surprise. A humongous, striped...thingy was standing on all four paws. The closest animal Sarah could compare it with was something like a cross between a bear and a wolverine. Jareth smirked as he stroked one of its ears fondly. "This is Bandit. He is to be our transportation."

Sarah looked desprately at Mirwana. "Can't you do that vanishing trick and have us there in a few seconds?"

"I'm afraid that would not work over such a long distance." Mirwana said sympathetically.

Sarah looked at the beast again. It reared and gave another hearty roar, causing her to flinch. Then she straightened her posture, gathered up her courage and walked towards the Bandersnatch with a determinated expression. "Fine." She mumbled. "Just don't blame me if I hurl."


	6. To Hatter's House We Go!

Little, green-blossumed floweres pop up in the grass in front of you. Each is in the shape of a different letter. They spell out the words;

NOT MINE!

The sound of a bulldozer in the distance startles you enough to make you jump out of the way. The bulldozer runs slowly over the flowers, crushing them under its weight. On the side facing you are the words;

NO MONEY SHALT BE MADE OFF OF THIS PROJECT!

The bulldozer passes, leaving the descimated flowers and you behind. You shrug and start to read the story that seems to have magically appeared in front of you.

However, before you have the chance to begin a crazy clown snatches it out of your hands and cackles in a creepy way. "SPOILER ALERT!" **_He says gape at him and shake your head. You grab the masterpiece back and continue to read._**

Scrub held back Sarah's hair with one hand and her nose with the other. Sarah had been retching for the past few minutes, practically since they'd gotten off the Bandersnatch. Sarah gasped and gulped in air, her face still an uncomely shade of green. "Never, EVER, let me be talked into something like that again!" She said miserably. Scrub sympathetically helped her back up and brushed off her knees for her. Sarah was shakey and a bit disoriented and her head hurt.

They returned from the bushes and back to the pristinely white stone entrance to Mirwana's castle where Jareth and his sister were waiting patiently. Jareth looked concerned and Mirwana was holding out a teacup. "Tea helps to soothe the stomach." She said, patting Sarah kindly on her shoulder.

"Just as it does with most ailments, be they of mind or of body." The voice seemed to come from nowhere, but then a shadow peeled itself from the darkness. A tall man stepped into the midst of their group. He whipped the tophat from his head and bowed deeply. "Your majesties." He straightened and a wide grin was on his face, his deep red lips parting to reveal a gap-toothed smile.

Mirwana smiled warmly. "Hello, Tarrant." He bowed again.

The man's grin widened as he took in the sight of the guests. "And who might these two be?" He lisped. Sarah thought him a curious man, but Scrub was entranced.

"This is Scrub..." She gestured at Sarah. "And this young lady is our Champion." The grin faded a bit and the man nodded nearly imperceptably. Mirwana glanced from him to Scrub and a glint appeared in her eyes. "Speaking of which, I'm afraid that I must split the two of them up. My brother and I must talk with the Champion in private." She urged Scrub forward towards him. "I hope you won't mind entertaining her while we are busy."

"Ahh.." He hesitated, that is, until he looked down at Scrub just in time to see her puppy dog eyes. Sighing, he nodded. "Of, course, m'lady." Mirwana was about to burst out into a giggling fit at this, having experienced the power of that look very recently. However, it might give away her plan, so she simply thanked him and led Sarah away by the hand.

Scrub grinned at the Hatter, her smile almost as wide as his own, but without the space between her teeth. "I adore your outfit!" She said reverantly. "I've always been told I was crazy for liking guys who wear awesome hats, but I don't really care!"

Hatter smiled a genuine smile. "You truly think my hat is that wonderful?" She nodded her head. He took her hand and delicately kissed it. "Thank you so much. And if I am any authority, you have a lovely taste in hats yourself."

She looked down at his hand and gasped. His hand was stained and bandaged, she snuck a peek at the other and it was in similar shape, only he wore a thimble on his middle finger. "What happened? Does it hurt?" She asked worriedly.

He sighed and let go. "It is part of my trade. You see, I am the Royal Hatter. Tarrant Hightopp."

Her jaw dropped. "No fludging way! That is so COOL!" Tarrant's orange hair flipped forward as he once again graced her with a bow. She returned it with a fluttering on of her own. She had found a kindred spirit! "I do something similar. Most of my clothes are things that I make myself. Though I don't do it as a profession, just a bit of dabbling to give me my own unique look."

He took a step back and regarded her for a moment, then told her to spin around. He looked closely at her dress and stockings, and especially the hat. "You do have a very unique look. Your work is very good, I'm you consider watching me do what I do best?" He paused for a second. "Oh my, have I made a rhyme?"

"Yes, my friend, you most certainly did."

He grinned and started walking from the entrance to the castle. After a bit of normal walking, he began to walk backwards so that he could talk to her, somehow managing to avoid objects without seeing them "To get where you need to go here, it is always a good idea to walk backwards when going back the way you came." He remarked airily.

"That makes perfect sense." Scrub reasoned.

"Of course it does. Who would say it doesn't?" He asked, giggling a bit.

"More than half of the population of the Aboveground." She said sadly. Then she perked up. "Where are we going anyway?"

"Oh, well, first we're going to have tea with Thackory and Mally, then we'll come back here and you can witness firsthand how I ply my trade." Her eyes lit up and Hatter noticed this. He remembered how she had looked at him, her eyes going all wide and innocent...childlike, but somehow not. She never stopped taking in the sights around her, he watched her with interest as she took in this new world. He gulped, a knot forming in his gut. She reminded him of someone. Someone who'd left long ago, promising to return, and yet never doing so. If Scrub hadn't been so preoccupied with the scenery, she might have noticed how his green eyes changed to a cloudy blue and how the color of his impossibly bright hair became slightly less bold, how his feet dragged just a bit. He sighed heavily and forced the memory away. That was something good about being mad, he could think random things at moments like this to cheer and distract himself. To this effect, he started to consider things that began with the letter 'S'...Scrub..sunny..sanctuary..satisfied...


	7. Time For Tea!

I walk up to the podium and tap the microphone, everyone winces at the noise. "Ahem, I..er...own nothing." I fiddle nervously with my shirt and continue. "Also, I have never, nor will I ever make any cash off of this story." I curtsey and my audience applaudes politely. "Thank you, Thank you, but I have one more thing to say." The applause dies away, leaving an intimidating silence. " This and all the chapters from this point on shall contain spoilers for the movie Alice in Wonderland."**_ I watch the audience closely. "If you have yet to watch the movie and have no wish for me to spoil the ending for you, then I suggest that you leave now or forever hold your peace." A few people get up and walk out of the auditorium. I cough uncomfortably. "Thank you, that is all. You may comense with reading the story."_**

"Move down! Move down!" Called Thackory for the seventh time. Scrub giggled as she jumped from seat to seat and ended up sitting next to Tarrant at the head of the table. Thackory calmed down as he settled into his newest spot. Mallyumpkin yawned and was leaning heavily against a flower-patterned teapot.

She brandished her stickpin sword in a bored way, but still couldn't help herself and started to show off to their guest. She stabbed and perryed an imaginary foe. Scrub followed her movements with interest. "Do you think you could teach me how to do that?" She asked.

Mally stopped and fixed her with a pointed stare. "I could." She said, and then went back to her sword play.

Scrub took the hint and rephrased her question."Would you please teach me how to wield a sword?"

Mally smiled. "That's what I wanted to hear." She turned to the Hatter, who was suddenly frowning. "Would you mind being her sparring partner, Hatta'?" Tarrant's eyes went wide.

"Couldn't you do it?" He asked, his lisp revealing his discomfort. "I really don't think that I-"

Mally cut him off, glaring right up into his bright green eyes. "Hatta', I'm not exactly 'er match and I can't teach 'er if I can't reach 'er."

"That rhymed." Tarrant said absently, his eyes went unfocused.

"Hatter!" Thackory and Mally said at the same time.

"I'm fine, thank you." He replied weakly. "Of course, just let me go get my sword." He got up and walked unsteadily from the table to the house. He returned a few seconds later carrying a silver blade in one hand and in the other was a wooden one. A training sword, it had notches all along the side as if it had been through a good amount of pretend battles. He handed the wooden one to Scrub, who took it and held it gingerly. She was sure that if she weren't careful, it would give her a splinter or two. Tarrant smiled nervously at her and put his hand around her fingers to reposition them around the hilt. "That's how you do it." He told her.

Mally climbed over Thackory and up to his head, nestling herself into the fur between his ears. From this vantage point she could watch the two of them and comment on Scrub's performance. "Kay, you two. Bow and take your stances." She observed them as they did so. "Begin."

Hatter was hesitant, he didn't want to end up accidentally hurting the girl. He had to fight to keep the Madness from taking over. That happened whenever he dueled. It had happened on Frabjous Day, he'd almost killed Iloslavich Stayne, the Red Queen's right hand man. Fortunately, Al..no...the Champion..managed to slice off the Jabberwocky's head just in time to save the feind's life. Now, he could feel the urge to fight with everything he had, but somehow, he held back the Madness that threatened to overpower him. Amazed at his own control, he almost missed Scrub's next strike, he had to duck to avoid being bonked on the side of his head. "Pay attention, Hatta'!" Yelled Mally from the sidelines. "Don' wanna be beat by a novice, do ya now?" Novice? If the girl was anything, she was no novice. She was a natural, her small size made dodging easier and gave her the advantage of perfectly balanced, swift attacks. Mally was telling her exactly what to do and she had caught on quickly. He jabbed outwards, aiming for just below her hip, which would be a weak spot for most fighters as duelers usually kept their focus around chest level. However, he was forgetting that a woman's center of gravity is in her hips, so she was able to swivel out of the way and simultaneously catch his sword's tip with the broad part of her own. The jolt that ran up his arm made him drop it and he put his hands up, signalling that he was conquered.

"Did I win?" Scrub looked at Mally for confirmation, who nodded and clapped her hands. Thackory banged sliverware together and hooted with laughter at Hatter's defeat. Tarrant himself couldn't be more relieved, he hadn't even nicked her. Then Scrub started doing something unusual. She dropped the training sword and started rocking her hips back and forth. She jumped up and down and flung out her arms and spun around. He watched as she gyrated her body, his eyes drawn to the movements she made.

Oh my...

Mally and Thackory had stopped their celebrating and were now mesmorized by Scrub's victory dance. With a final turn, she plopped to the ground and lay there, staring up at Hatter with a mile-wide grin. "I've never been that good at stuff on the first try." She said, he barely registered what she was talking about. "Not really much of an athlete, either." She continued. "But that was fun!" She noticed their blank expressios. "What?"

Mally recovered first. "Have you ever Futterwackened?"

Scrub shook her head solumnly. "No, I believe in abstinance until marriage." She replied seriously. "But what does that have to do with-"

Hatter recollected his wits. "What Mally means is, have you ever danced with absolute joy before? Not caring a whit about who's watching or where you do it?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I do that all the time. In fact, that's why almost everyone in the Aboveground is aware of the fact that I'm a horrible dancer." She got up and brushed the dirt from her bottom. "I've even been compared to a spasmatic weasel." She inspected a smudge on her arm and rubbed it away. "I do it anyway, though. Do you?"

He grinned, unable to help himself. "Yes."

"Hatta' does the best Futterwacken in all o' Whitzend." He beamed in Mally's direction.

"Well, let's see what you've got, dude." She encouraged. He needed no inspiration, as he usually did. It took only the expectant sparkle in her eyes to make him happy enough to Futterwacken from here to Mamoreal. He removed his hat and started his own victory dance.

Scrub was in awe, she'd never seen a more spectacular show in her entire life! This man could move, his body was pliable and moved to a music only he seemed to be able to hear...the music of his own happiness. She realized she was staring, but she couldn't help it. She was hypnotized.

He finished with a bow and returned the hat to his head. "My, my, Tarrant. You haven't lost your touch at all." A mouth appeared to be floating in mid-air without an owner. Then eyes, bright teal colored ones, followed the mouth. A misty body began to take shape, and finally, a blue-furred cat could be seen hovering right next the Hatter. The cat flipped over and floated on his back. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Chesire, but most call me Chess or Chessur."

Scrub held out her hand."Nice to meet you, Chess. I'm Martha, but everyone just refers to me as Scrub." Chess grasped her hand with a foggy paw. It was strange, his body was incorporeal, but he felt solid where she was touching him. His grin was impossibly wide and full of teeth, if she weren't sure he was benevolent, then she might have been wary.

"What are you doing here, Chess?" Asked Tarrant somewhat tensely. He still didn't get along very well with this particular neighbor. The cat was known for his unreliablity and flouncy, show-off attitude.

Chess soared up high and did a loop-the-loop. Then he lazily came back down like a falling leaf. "The White Queen asked me to find you. She wants to know if you would be fine with making dresses for her and our two visitors. She's planning a ball to celebrate the arrival of our Champion." Hatter smiled. The Queen was _always_ planning a ball.

"A ball? You mean like Cinderella?" Scrub asked excitedly.

"Who's Cinderella?" Hatter and Chess asked together.

"Oh, um..never mind. So are you gonna make my dress?" He nodded, already studying her to see what color would look the most beautiful on her. Maybe a blue or green to go with her eyes or perhaps a light lavender color..a peachy shade like she had on today? No, wait...he knew exactly what she'd need.

Chess began to blur himself impatiently. "As nice as this little trip has been, I really have to go." He cast a dreamy, longing sigh in the direction of Hatter's hat. "Goodbye...sweet hat." With that, he disappeared altogether.

"Hmm. I should get a start on those dresses. Fairfarren to you two." Hatter gently took Scrub's hand and led her away. Thackory grunted, his annoyance showing. Tarrant knew what would happen, so he instinctively ducked as the teacup flew over his head and smashed on the ground somewhere to the left.

{~A little bit before~}

"What did you want to speak to me about, your majesty." Asked Sarah as they walked down the corridor.

"Please dear, call me Mirwana." Corrected The White Queen. "And I don't really need to talk to you about anything, I just wanted to get those two together. Tarrant's lovely, but he needs a woman."

"Sister!" Gasped Jareth as he pretended to be scandelized, a mischievious twinkle in his mismatched eyes. "Surely you know better to than to interfere with Eros?"

"Eros?" Sarah said, confused. "Who's Eros?"

"Eros is, as you would call him, Cupid." Answered the Goblin King. "Mirwana is apperently playing matchmaker with your friend and her own Royal Hatter."

Mirwana smiled and casually remarked. "I think it's about time for another ball, don't you Jareth?"

Sarah paled. "There won't be any peaches, will there?"She asked, shooting Jareth an apprehensive look. He smirked and rolled his eyes. He conjured a crystal and fiddled with it, all the while assuring her that there would indeed be no peaches. She sighed in relief, making him laugh.

Mirwana let loose a loud whistle. "CHESS!" She called loudly. "OH, CHESS!" Sarah wondered if the woman had lost her marbles, just randomly shouting at nobody. The White Queen placed her hands on her hips and blew out the side of her mouth. "I was sure he was in the castle. CHESSUR!"

The is, she wondered until a blue mass of striped fur appeared in misty cloud. It materialized into the shape of a cat with a broad grin and glittering eyes. "You called?" His body disappeared again and his disembodied head whirled around in circles. Mirwana smiled and nodded. She explained to him that she wanted him to find the Hatter and ask him to prepare three new dresses for the ball. He would have the rest of the day and most of tommorrow to make them. The cat's head bobbed and wobbled in the air. "Of course, my Queen." And he was gone.

"Now, would you both be kind enough to help me with this? I want this to be perfect. You two will have to work together on getting those two together." She rattled off plans on how to make sure that Tarrant Hightopp and Scrub were to always be with a few feet of each other. "Jareth, whenever Tarrant starts to wander off, you guide him back to Scrub's side. Sarah, likewise, only you must do it for your friend." She grasped both their hands. "And whenever they are asked to dance by anyone else, one of you will butt in. Understood?" They nodded, both of them forcing down laughter. "Good. On to the decorum!" She pointed straight up in the air and strode forward, contemplating the color scheme and the theme.

"Your sister is very enthusiastic about this." Sarah said to Jareth as they followed her, but staying a little ways behind so that their conversation had less of a chance to be overheard. They could hear Mirwana muttering to herself about the ball and relaxed in the security of the thought that she was to caught up in her preparations.

"Yes, well, she's known Tarrant for a long time. She wants him to be happy, she's always saying how lonely and sad he must have been after Alice left."

Sarah stopped walking. "Who is Alice?"

{~Going back to present time~}

Scrub stretched her aching legs, they had walked all the back to Mamoreal. Hatter's workshop was in far off section of the castle, so they had also made their way down (and sometimes up) stairs. "This is why I never bought that Stairstepper!" She complained. She smiled as she took in the sight before her. "Though this place certainly makes up for it."

The room was painted in bright colors, a nice change considering the rest of the castle was mostly white and pastels. Large bolts of fabric were stacked in piles to one side and rolls of different colored ribbons were strewn about. Feathers of all sizes were spilling out of a bag that was stuffed into a corner. A desk with a Dressmaker's dummy that had no head leaned up against it was in the center of the room. That was where Hatter was seated, hard at work. He kept glancing over at her and making notes.

"Satin?..No, lace..no..wait...silk?" He mumbled to himself. "Perhaps chintz...no.." He looked at her again. "Definitly silk." He scribbled that down, finished his calculations and got up. He retrieved from the stack of fabric a large amount of black silk. "Stand up, please."

She did so and he wrapped a length of it around her, eyed the measurements, then made his way back to the desk. He started his sewing machine up, turning the wheel rapidly with his right hand while guiding the silk with his left. He hummed absently while he worked, looking content as he did. She remembered his face had held an expression similar to that when he did the Futterwacken. She took the time to really look at him. His eyes were a beautiful, lively green, his complexion was very pale, she suspected that was because he didn't often go out. His hair was curly and the brightest shade of orange she'd ever seen, the edges of it sticking out underneath his hat. It seemed to have a mind of its own. She felt compelled to run her hands through it, but resisted. His body was slim and clothed in a suit that, while tattered slightly, was very becoming. His multi-colored bowtie finished off the look. He looked good and she was thoroughly impressed, not many people could pull that outfit off and not look like Ronald MacDonald. Especially if they had similar hair. Thank goodness he didn't have a huge red nose!

She didn't notice how late it was getting, the sun having set long ago. She was too absorbed in watching him. He was elegant and delicate with the materials that he worked with, making sure every single detail was perfect. However, what she did notice was the warmth of the room and the lulling sound of the sewing maching whirring...

Hatter glanced up to see that Scrub had fallen asleep on the small chair. He smiled, chuckling to himself, and paused in his task. She would have to go to bed. She had a big day tommorrow. He, however, would have to work a bit longer that night to finish the last dress. So he went over to her and picked her up. She fit neatly in his arms and was so very light, it was almost as if she weighed nothing at all. She sighed in her sleep and nestled closer to his chest. For some reason, his heart lept and its beat was quickened. Holding her tightly, securely, he headed out the door.

He wasn't sure if Mirwana had given her a room yet, so she would just have to sleep in his bed. It wasn't like he would be getting any sleep for a while, anyway. Besides, she may be light, but he wasn't up to carrying her all around the castle. He kicked open the door to his bedroom and sat down on the mattress. He wasn't ready to let her go just yet, it surely wouldn't hurt of he just held her for a minute or two longer.

Her tiny lips were curled up into a smile and her hands balled up and clutched to her chest. Her chest rose and fell with each breath. Then, she opened her lips. He silently panicked, thinking she had woken, but her eyes remained closed.

"Tarrant." She spoke, though the word was slurred through sleeping lips, it was definitly his name. His heart leaped higher than before, his pulse rising so fast that he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. It was then that he decided it was time to go. Careful not to wake her, he hooked a finger around the covers and pulled them back, then placed her under them and tucked them around her. She curled up into a tight, little ball on her side.

She was so small.

_Why is it that you're always too small or too tall? _He gulped and left the room, the girl, and the memory behind. Fighting back the agony of a broken heart and the tide of Madness would be easier to do if he had his work to distract him.


End file.
